English 101 Conclusion

At first, I was  not quite sure what I wanted to write about for my final blog entry.  I thought of writing about my plans for Thanksgiving, but Thanksgiving ended on Thursday.  I realized that this was one of the final assignments for the course.  Based on that fact, I decided to write about that.  Despite all of the editing needed for my portfolio, this is my conclusion to English 101.  I used to hate most of my English classes in the past.  This often occurred because I dreaded the day that the beast of the course would emerge.  That beast is the research paper.  In every English class the research paper is bound to appear.  The worst part was the required note cards and the struggle to get enough of them completed.  I knew that in college that I wouldn't need them but I still feared writing one.  Unlike my previous experiences with the papers I felt better about this one.  I procrastinated longer than I should have and found that it only made the situation worse.  However, when I began writing every thing began to flow smoothly.  I did not have to create and use an outline for my paper this year.  That also helped my paper to flow more smoothly.  Instead of forcing my paper to branch from the spine of an outline, I allowed it to build upon itself.  I'm positive that there are plenty of changes needed to made, but the bulk of the work has already been done.  Besides the research paper I had very few worries about the rest of the class.  Even though I may have seemed uninterested at times -playing video games or texting when you weren't lecturing- I really enjoyed the class.  Unlike some classes where I may forget most things, I believe I will always remember the importance of detail and how vital the endless stage of revision is for the writing process.  I hope this class will serve as something to look back on whenever I may need to review the basics of my writing career.  I'm sure the beast lurks beyond the confines of the classroom.

Topic Changes

My topic has not changed at all. However, based on some of the research I have, I believe I will focus more on whether video game addiction is an addiction at all.

Prospectus

As time progresses, man's creation of technology progresses along with it. The technology becomes more useful as its advancement occurs. As a result, man becomes addicted and even obsessed with it. Sometimes he may find himself lost without the object he lived peacefully without before. I too am a man and I understand what it is like to be obsessed with technology. My obsession is with video games. I've found that I am not alone in this matter. Many of my fellow peers are or have experienced the same situation. I want to learn why I and many other teens (predominately male) have fallen into this addiction. It would be simple to say that the addiction is a result of fun and entertainment, but I believe there is another factor beneath the surface. I believe there is something within our unconscious minds that drives us to spend hours playing, challenging, manipulating, and creating the elements of the worlds found in video games.

Two sources from Mirror on America that caught my attention are Welcome to Your Second Life and Our Biotech Bodies, Ourselves. Welcome to Your Second Life is a very good source for my research because of its likeness to my own. The author, Joe Stafford, has some of the same questions and beliefs that I have involving the attraction people have to the virtual world. However, our topics are not identical due to the fact that his topic focuses solely on Second Life - which is technically not a video game but rather a online program - while my topic focuses on video games in general. Unlike video games, Second Life contains no objectives or violence in the program. The creator also is striving to keep the program for adults rather than for teens. These elements may be vital to some of the reasons a majority of today's youth are addicted to video games. I also believe that gamers play video games in order to experience a world where they may exceed the physical limitations of the real world. This is where Our Biotech Bodies, Ourselves comes in. It focuses on the possibility of exceeding average physical capabilities through the use of pills or stem cells. Although they are a possible solution to achieving this goal, pills and stem cells are not the elements of the essay that relate to my topic. The urge they have to exceed their limitations is the factor that contributes to my topic. This urge may serve as one of the drives for video game play.

Along with these to sources I also plan on finding other sources related to the two I currently have. They will most likely be more like Welcome to Your Second Life. I plan on using the school library or Internet to find articles or books that relate to addiction to video games. I'm sure I'll have a better idea of how I will go about doing this after our trip to the library. With my source I hope to find theories or facts that revolve around their psychological attraction to video games. These sources will support my belief that gamers rely on games to fulfill their wishes to reach beyond the physical limitations of the real world, achieve goals that seem impossible in reality, and take risks that they lack the courage or sense to attempt in a real situation.

Research Questions
Is the addiction to video games linked to unconscious desires?
Do people use video games to reach goals unattainable in reality?
Do video games serve as opportunities to express emotions and perform actions unaccepted in society?
Search Terms
Video Game Addiction
Virtual Reality
Unconscious Motives

Research Topic

Based on my knowledge and somewhat addiction to videogames I'm positive my topic will revolve around that subject. That would fall under the technology category from the readings. A lot of people (mostly young men) finds themselves under the influence of videogames and I want to research the reason this occurs. I wonder what causes gamers to spend up to 10-15 hours playing these games. Not only do I want to find out what makes videogames so entertaining, but I also want to find the reason for the gamers ambitions. Could it be that they are trying to make-up for things they can't achieve in life, take risk that they would find impossible in reality, reach goals unattainable in the real world, or simply find a combonation of accomplishment and entertainment. The evolution of the gaming world will also help to reveal what it is that gamers are reaching out for.


Welcome to Your Second Life (pg.334)
This essay and my topic are very closely related. However, my topic focuses solely on the videogames. It's purpose is all to discover why people choose to spend so much time in a artificial world rather than reality. Like videogames the Second Life program allows the users to perform actions that they are afraid or incapable of doing in reality. As a result people choose to use the program to obtain the unreachable or risky goals they want in reality.

Our Biotech Bodies, Ourselves (pg. 357)
The essay's main point involves the focus human beings place upon enhancing themselves physically. Though it talks about using drugs and stem-cells to obtain this, it still relates to my topic. It is not the method of gaining enhanced capabilities but the urge to have them. This involves how gamers look toward videogames to artificially obtain these powers or enhanced abilities.

Sample Paper Analysis

Paper #1
“Foreign Athletic Limits”
Grade: D
Explanation: If there is a thesis statement it is extremely weak. There were many spelling and grammatical errors. Most of it was hard to understand because of awkward wording. There were errors in the citations. I could be mistaken, but don't think they used all of their sources. There seems to be a large lack of revision for this paper. Many of the mistakes could have been spotted just by reading it aloud. As a result, reading the paper was difficult and annoying.

Paper #2
“Online College vs. Online High School”
Grade: D+
Explanation: The thesis is weakened due to spelling errors and a bad beginning, but it is existent. There were a few spelling and grammatical errors. However, the sentences were fairly simple to understand. The individual asked questions and answered them right afterwards. There wasn't a lot of information from outside sources. I don't believe they used all three of their sources. Most of the paper was opinionated. It has a very weak conclusion. The conclusion should not start with "In conclusion..." and it should be more in depth. The paper could use more revision to find the obvious mistakes. Though weak, the paper made its points and followed its thesis.

Paper #3
“Predisposed to Divorce”
Grade: A-
Explanation: It has a well developed introduction with a solid thesis. All of the sources are used effectively. The paper is understandable. Besides a few spelling and grammatical errors it is strong. It follows the thesis. The conclusion is complete. The paper met the criteria and was interesting.

Paper #4
“NAACP Case Against Gun Manufacturers”
Grade: B-
Explanation: The introduction lacks detail and has a weak thesis. they are placing their citations wrong. One of them contains "Mays" who is not listed on the work cited. It could be a misprint. They should work on their grammer. The points being made in the paper are clear. The major problem with the paper is the grammatical errors. The author should work on comma usage. The conclusion seemed to just come to an end. Rather than sum up the paper the author made up their own conclusion for the problem and left it at that. With a few adjusments in grammer it can be a fairly well written paper.

Comment Response

Most of the people I have sent comments to are those who seem to be taken in by products that try to appeal to their social status. The products they have are those like clothing and perfumes. The advertisers of their products have models that appeal towards the audience. Those who are exposed to the ad may have the interpretation that they too can be like that model if they have the product. I believe that those who buy these products may be those who are not insecure, but have ambitions to better themselves. The advertisements make it seem that their products are the key to achieving these ambitions.

Ranch Dressing

While randomly flipping through a few magazines this ad caught my eye. Being that it was an object that I actually had it stood out over the various types of lotions and make-up accessories inside of the "Ebony" magazine I was looking through. Personally I rarely read magazines so I was left to rely on those of females in my family. Despite it all I found an ad on Ranch dressing which most people have lying around in their refrigerator at some point or another. I want to make a major focus on the color scheme (green) which could be associated with healthy vegetables and the comparison between it and desserts that they seem to be making with it. Very rough thesis: Though the creators of the advertisement may be completely honest about their product making vegetables taste better, they are also misleading their customers into thinking the food is still as healthy.

Rough outline:

Introduction

Audience

A. Origin of Ad

B. Targeted Consumer

Obvious Detail

A. Color and Presentation

B. Word Choice

Advertisors Methods

A. Purpose of Color

B. Message in the Cupcakes

Conclusion